"I am in the mood to see some people die today. Deploy the troops!"

A Fire Nation soldier in action

The Military of the Japanese Fire Nation is the fucking useless armed forces of the Fire Nation. If you needed a military operation seriously screwed up, these are the guys you sent out. The soldiers who served in the Fire Nation military were ineffective in every way possible that it wasn't even funny... ok, it was. The only two things these guys were good at was getting owned and standing in the background looking badass. It is believe their horrible fighting skills come from the fact that the Fire Nation spent more money on making them look intimidating instead of training them.

Even with all the advanced technology that they had at their disposal, the Fire Nation military force still failed to pose any significant threat to well, anybody. When any important battles during the War needed to be won, Ozai would rely on a certain 14 year old girl and her friends.

Army Edit

The Fire Nation army was comprised of both idiots and special idiots who could shoot fire out of their freakin' hands. The idiots who could shoot fire got a kickass set of armor that came with a skull-mask to cover their faces. The normal idiots got a not so cool armor set. Since the majority of the Fire Nation was aware of the eventual death that serving in the Fire Nation army brought, "cruel recruitment methods" were needed to bring in new recruits. The Fire Nation would also just round up random civilians and force them to serve in the army. Usually when a person heard they were going to be forced into the Fire Nation army, they would immediately committed suicide considering the average lifespan of a Fire Nation soldier was 10 minutes on the battlefield.

Heavier Weapons Edit

The Fire Nation needed to keep up with their badass image, so they spent all their money on building a huge array of metal tanks and other crazy shit. Sadly the lack of training for their soldiers made the tanks essentially useless since the soldiers had no clue how to drive them and would instead crash them into walls or commit friendly fire or do some other stupid entertaining action.

Weapons of MASS PWNAGE Edit

The Drill Edit

The Drill was a superweapon invented by the Fire Nation and it was considered a WMP (Weapon of Mass PWNAGE). The drill was built so the Fire Nation could threaten people by drilling their shit and stuff. Nobody likes having their shit drilled, I know I don't. The Drill also had a useful purpose as being a tool to teach young Fire Nation kids sexual education. The Drill's first (and only) engagement was at Ba Sing Se, but it was quickly owned by Aang.

Navy Edit

Once again, in their attempts to make their military force look badass, the Fire Nation dished out a crapload of money to get a series of kick ass metal ships built. Of course, it was a complete waste of money, but hey, it promoted soldier moral somewhat since they had big metal ships while the other nations did not. The Fire Nation loved to drive their ships by the Earth Kingdom coast so they could tease the Earth Kingdom people about not having "cool-looking metal ships", but usually while they were doing that, their ship would smash into rock and sink (what, you actually thought Ozai paid for these ships to be made out of quality metal?). For the last hundred years or so, these ships have been the proud winner of the "Least Threatening Thing" award.

See also Edit

Lack a sense of humor? Then get the hell out of here and go read Avatar Wiki's "real" article on Military of the Fire Nation.